Right now, most of us are stuck in some kind of quarantine. With a lot less going on “out there”, we’ve been living more sedentary lives. We’ve also been forced to spend a little more time with our own thoughts doing some self-reflection. So, for most of us, looking the mirror isn’t exactly a pleasurable experience right now.
I know I’ve definitely struggled with the girl I see in the mirror. I’ve been fighting a war with my weight and body image since I was probably ten years old. Even though I played sports and lived a balanced lifestyle, I compared myself to my thin classmates, wanting more than anything to look just a little more like them. I lived by what I called “Fat Girl Rules”. Never take the last slice of pizza. Only have seconds if someone else does too. To this day I’m still mending my relationship with food and have trouble shutting up my inner voice that says things like, “nobody wants a fat girlfriend.”
Maybe you’re fighting the same kind of war. Maybe you’ve passed up on life experiences because you didn’t feel you deserved them. Maybe you feel like food has a control you just can’t shake. Maybe you are just tired of being tired and don’t know how to make a change, especially with a million different hacks and “experts” out there telling you how to live your life. If so, I want to introduce you to someone who has been an amazingly positive influence in my own life.
I met Maggie in college. We shared maybe a theater class or two and I’ve lost track of the number of performances she blew us all way with. I never knew her well, but was always captivated not just by her stage presence, but by her magnetic personality and charisma. Over the years, we weren’t more than acquaintances who maybe flung out a “like” on social media. But, I watched from afar as she underwent a transformation. Not only has she lost weight, but I can see the glow of happiness that I had so desperately wished for myself. On more than one occasion, Maggie inspired me to get back on the horse, and now I’ve reconnected with her to better understand the journey she has been on and hopefully spread the inspiration she brings. She’s a certified coach and founder of Make It Happen Coaching. She lost 100 pounds, and she’s helping people make positive change in their life.
Five-Six and Almost Three Hundred Pounds
“At five-six and almost three hundred pounds,” Maggie begins her story, “I was binge eating junk food, relying on caffeine just to function. Burnout became my norm.” Maggie told me a story about how she would tell classmates white lies. For example, she would only date boys from other schools because she feared having to face the rejections she felt she deserved because of her weight.
We all know the destructive cycle this forms inside our own heads. When we don’t look the way the world wants us to or struggle when life get’s bumpy, it’s all too easy to resort to destructive behaviors as a source of comfort. I’ve personally lost count of the stress binges I’ve indulged in after an exam or a bad day at work. But, when you’re left with crumbs and dirty dishes, it’s hard to keep feelings of inadequacy and self-hatred at bay. You develop this idea that you are somehow less.
“I was trying,” Maggie told me, “to make my opinions and personality smaller because I felt I took up too much space.” These words embody how many of us feel about ourselves. This is the reason I have taken over an hour to beautify for a date. I felt I had to be “perfect” just to compensate for my weight, why I’ve developed a host of other insecurities because I feel like I already have one giant thing working against me.
Weight Loss and Self Gain
Maggie began to feel pressure in her professional life because of her body and she struggled from terrible knee pain. It’s not easy to see your body and dreams suffer as a result of bad habits. “Working as an actress,” she said, “I felt limited. In my career, in my mindset, in my choices. I was ready to feel in control of my life and my future. I needed to make changes and, most importantly, prove to myself that I could do absolutely anything.”
“For me,” she says, “losing weight was never about feeling unattractive to others. In fact, my boyfriend loved me when I was at my highest weight and my lowest, and he has never made me feel any more or less beautiful at any ‘size’.” The right people, regular readers of Pink & Petrichor have heard me say, will love us despite our flaws. And sometimes, we forget about the most important person, ourselves. For Maggie, this change wasn’t about how other people saw her, it was about her relationship with herself, with her body, and with food.
“You can’t see someone’s health, and you can’t see their happiness. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be smaller or fitter, but if you can’t love yourself on your journey to reaching these goals, then you will never feel happy or satisfied, no matter the results.”
From a Place of Love
“I suffer from a binge eating disorder,” Maggie admits, “and it has taken me years to understand what that means and how if affects me, and even now, 100 pounds lighter, my body dysphoria is alive and well. But I am proud of the work I have done in mending my relationship with food and with my body.”
Maggie describes the lifestyle changes she made, and how they stem from a love for not a punishment of her body. A big one, she says, was learning to have fun and socialize without food and alcohol. “Not that you can’t have fun with those things, I still do, but it’s important to enjoy those them for their own sake, not use food as a fix, or a cure, or a reward. I had to stop treating food like an enemy or my savior.”
Maggie also reconnected with her body through movement. Exercise became a celebration, up-leveling a workout an exciting challenge. “One of the best lessons I have learned is that my worth does not come from my size. My capabilities in this world are not limited by my size. I have learned to LOVE my body at every size and be grateful for what it can do. It allows me to do all the things I love in life: hugging loved ones, laughing, dancing, swimming. Keeping it in optimal shape is respect for myself.”
Ditching the Quick Fix
Maggie confesses she has had more setbacks than she can possibly count, but she encourages everyone on their own quest to use each as a chance to reflect, learn, and grow. Of course, this is easier said than done. The hardest part for Maggie and for most of us is having the patience to stay dedicated to our goals.
“There is no quick fix,” warns Maggie, “quick fixes don’t last and they don’t fix the actual problem. Real, worth-while change takes getting outside your comfort zone and committing yourself to your goals in a way you never have before.”
When asked how she stays motivated, Maggie gave spoke some truths that really hit home. “I avoid the word ‘motivation’. Motivation is great, but it’s impossible to feel motivated every day. In fact most days I don’t feel motivated.” The majority of days, we have to practice discipline, to keep reminding ourselves what what we want and why. And use that discipline to build a foundation of healthy habits. Build an accountability system, Maggie suggests. Find the support that’s right for you. Whether it’s a friend, a family member, gym buddy, or health coach.
Have You Tried Water?
Pretty soon, folks like myself began to notice the changes. Her social media was blowing up with DMs of congratulation and requests for tips and advice. And Maggie was happy to help. She found that she got more fulfillment from guiding others than she did on her original career path as an actress. Though it took some time to adjust and redefine her identity which had for so long been tied to the stage, Maggie eventually decided to become certified as a health coach and make it happen full time. She then went on to found Make It Happen Coaching, so that she could honor her own style of coaching formed by her experience and design personalized programs for her clients.
“I have been able to set in place actionable steps to stay in recovery and heal my mind, so now I strive to help others do the same!” Maggie says. She loves being able to help others change their lives for the the better. She describes her coaching style as gracious and patient, but with no lack of tough love. (Which, let’s be honest, is sometimes what we need the most.)
When asked if she would share one of her secrets, she responded with, “have you tried water?” I couldn’t help but laught, but she want on to say, “So many people are severely dehydrated and have no idea. It doesn’t cure all problems, but it can help with stalled weight loss, poor sleep, bad skin, headaches, and even overeating and cravings.” So, guys, I guess that’s one for free. You know what I always say. Hydrate for the hoes!
This blog post has not been sponsored. Maggie is just one bad ass chick. She has been a true and genuine inspiration to me as I continue to embark on my own road to wellness. I hope in getting to know her a little better and learning about what she has overcome you will see her strength and be encouraged to seek your own.
Maggie invites anyone who like to contact her or is interested in a strategy call to clarify what’s keeping them from their goals to reach out to her by email at maggie.makeithappen@gmail.com or to follow her on social media. She encourages those interested in coaching to schedule a free strategy session to learn more. Also the Make It Happen Coaching website has testimonials from some of her clients, so you don’t have to take my word for it.
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